— For parents, guardians, and relatives
(If you have been or are now being turned against your family, please answer Questionnaire B.)
(If you also know of an alienation outside your own family in which someone has been or is now being turned against his or her family by an external influence, please answer Questionnaire C.)
New Jersey residents, select your county:
Choose NJ County
2. How old was your son or daughter at first contact with the alienating influence?
16 or under
3. Who tried to turn your son or daughter against your family? (Choose all that apply.)
Your family member’s friend or acquaintance
Family of your family member’s friend/acquaintance
Your family member’s boyfriend/girlfriend
Family of your family member’s boyfriend/girlfriend
4. Did the alienating influence: (Choose all that apply.)
Make frequent or excessive contact with your family member via phone, text, email, or IM?
Contact your family member at inappropriate times, such as late at night or during school hours?
Question your family member about their upbringing or family environment, persuade them to share personal details, and/or criticize your family’s decisions and parenting style?
Instill unreasonable fears in your family member?
Ask your family member probing questions about their and/or your family’s savings/finances?
Encourage your family member to miss key family events and celebrations?
Insist that your family member not visit family unless accompanied by someone approved by the alienating influence?
Require your family member to maintain contact (by phone/text, for example) with the alienating influence during family visits?
Try to isolate your family member from longtime friends as well as relatives?
Offer your family member a reward of any kind (not necessarily money) for obedience to them?
Entice your family member with sex, either with them or with someone else?
Interfere with your family member’s decision-making process regarding major life choices, such as moving away from home, selecting a college, choosing a job, getting married?
Require your family member to get their advice/permission before making key decisions?
Insert themselves into your family member’s life as the go-to person for direction on all things from emotional issues to finances?
Try to convince your family member that you were controlling and/or that your relationship was unhealthy?
5. What kind of lifestyle changes did your family member make for the sake of the alienating influence? (Choose all that apply.)
Severed relationships with friends
Severed relationships with family
Gave up a favorite activity.
Altered belief system
Turned over savings/other source of income
Underwent a radical change in personality (for example, the family member you used to be close to became unusually secretive, distant, and/or fearful of you)
Underwent a radical change in appearance
6. What did you do about the situation? (Choose all that apply.)
Retrieved the family member at his/her request
Retrieved the family member without his/her request
Asked family or friends to intercede
Contacted school officials for help
Contacted the police or other law enforcement agency
Consulted a lawyer
Consulted with the court system
Consulted a mental health professional or other helping professional
Contacted a legislator or other government official
Tried to reason with the alienating influence
Other. Please specify:
7. Which statement best describes the current status of your situation?
I am in regular contact with my family member; our relationship is back to normal.
I have some contact with my family member, but our relationship is not back to normal.
There is no contact between me and my family member.
8. How old is that family member now?
16 or under
9. How long did the alienation last/how long has it been going on?
10. May we contact you? If so, please enter your name and an email address or telephone number below:
"The family is the natural and fundamental group unit of society
and is entitled to protection by society and the State."
— Article 16.3, Universal Declaration of Human Rights of the United Nations
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